


Without You

by everylosttouch



Series: Tumblr Prompts: 100 Follower Special [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, Edom Mentions, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 06:40:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14514624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everylosttouch/pseuds/everylosttouch
Summary: It's only been three days since Magnus left for Edom, and it's tearing Alec apart.





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again lovelies!  
> This is another prompt from my 100 follower special on tumblr, which is closing this friday! So this is the last couple days I'll be taking prompt requests! So if you want to, come over to my blog @biconicmagnusbane and send me a prompt from [ this list!](https://biconicmagnusbane.tumblr.com/post/173307608517/prompt-list)
> 
> 36\. "I don't know who I am without you."  
> Courtesy of @highqualitymercy over on tumblr!

The silence is deafening.

The key slides into the lock, metal scraping together and sending shivers through his bones. With a slow turn, the door clicks, opening elegantly.

It doesn’t squeak open.

It doesn’t make a sound.

With each step, he can hear the sound of his feet thudding against the floor. The sound is loud against the stark silence around him. The zipper on his jacket jingles as he turns, and it’s chime sends chills up his spine.

It’s too loud.

The door closes behind him, and he turns towards the living room, padding through the familiar halls of the entryway. His hands slide over the shelves, eyes trailing across the random items stocked in them. His eyes find that familiar box.

His breath hitches, but he doesn’t reach for it.

His thoughts, once quiet and cooperative with the silence, roar to life. Memories of their fights, of the squabbles over what was in _this box_ come back to haunt him. There’s regret laced in the memories, humiliation and shame. It fades into sadness, and he can feel the tears threatening to show themselves once more.

His eyes drift from the box, leaving its memories in wake behind him. His loud footsteps continue to thunder in his ears. He can hear the slide of the fabric against his body, the gentle inhales and exhales as he strides into the living room.

The lights are off, and the living room itself is dark, with the only light coming from the skyline outside. It’s haunting almost, the darkness. It envelopes the area, suffocating the warm hues from the couches and replacing it with cold tones. The flowers on the coffee table have died, robbed of their source of life.

He understands the feeling.

As he turns, he notices the book on the edge of the couch, pages splayed open and abandoned for something else. He balls his fist, closing his eyes before continuing forward.

He doesn’t know what to really expect. Perhaps he was hoping to find a light on, to find a familiar figure sleeping soundly under those satin sheets he’d come to love. Perhaps he was looking for a sign, a sign that someone was here, that this place hadn’t been left to collect dust until he returned.

Perhaps…perhaps it was too much to hope for.

He’s been in every room, checking high and low for a sign of life. Magnus’ apothecary is neat and tidy, with ingredients for potions properly placed out of the way and locked up for safe keeping. Even the kitchen is spotless, not a damn dish in the sink. The place is—dare he say—absolutely spotless.

Just the way Magnus had left it.

Alec’s stomach lurches at the thought. His unsteady breath breaks apart the frozen silence of the loft.

_Magnus is gone._

It’s only been three days. Three long days of stiffening, deafening silence. His phone only goes off when the Institute needs him, and even then, its far less often than he’d like. He hasn’t come back to the loft since Magnus left for Edom. Without Magnus, there’s been nothing for him here.

Even outside of the loft, he can’t escape the imprint Magnus has made on his life. Everything reminds him of Magnus, whether it be news of Warlock activity, or the Downworld Cabinet meetings in the Institute. He’s tried taking walks, tried to get out of the Institute in hopes that he could forget the pain of Magnus leaving, just for a little while.

It never works.

There’s always something that reminds him of Magnus. Restaurants and small shops remind him of their dates. Advertisements of the latest fashion trends remind him of Magnus’ impeccable fashion sense. Even the different bars he visited remind him of Magnus, of their first date, of the day he came home drunk and—

Alec’s heart aches in his chest, his mind swirling.

His feet have led him into the apothecary, hovering close to the wooden desk. His eyes trail across the mahogany, across its polished exterior, across the papers of ingredients and lists of clients, until he lifts his gaze upward. His breath dies in his lungs.

On Magnus’ desk lies a single picture frame of standard size, and in it houses the picture of them lying together on the couch one night. He remembers that night clearly, when they invited everyone over to play mundane board games. There was glasses of wine and a very heated game of Monopoly, but it had felt so domestic, so… _normal._

While waiting for their turns, Alec had snuggled next to Magnus on the couch, head ducked into the crook of his neck, resting silently on his shoulder. His eyes had closed, wearing a soft smile as Magnus wrapped his arm around him. At the time, he didn’t know Izzy took the opportunity to snap the picture, but when she gave it to them a few days later, he wasn’t so mad.

But now, seeing this photo and of them together, happy, _here_ …

It hurts.

He picks up the frame, fingertips trailing over the photo. The pads of his fingers brush against the glass, across the loving expression his boyfriend gives him.

The silence comes back once more, louder than ever. Alec can feel his bottom lip tremble, his walls around his heart crumbling.

“ _I don’t know who I am without you,_ ” he whispers out loud, eyes still glued to the photo. “I feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself…like a part of me has died.” He frowns at the words, dark brows creasing together. “It’s similar to when Jace died, but…a thousand times worse.”

He inhales sharply, breath shuddering. His knees buckle under him and he falls to the ground with a soft thud. He gives a second glance to the photo before he brings it close, cradling it to his chest. His eyes flutter shut. “ _Please come back, Magnus. You promised you would._ ”

The whispered statements are weak, voice cracking and wavering with emotions he’s kept in for too long. He doesn’t want to live without Magnus by his side. He loves him so, _so_ dearly. As he curls up on the floor hugging the photo, the tears he’s held back start flowing down his cheeks. Sobs break from his lips. The silence around him only amplifies the actions.

_Magnus is gone._

It’s only been three days, but somehow, he knows that this is only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me over on tumblr @biconicmagnusbane!


End file.
